Bellwether's Cape Prize, The
Background The Bellwether's Cape Prize was instituted in 1699 by Harrican Syldanade, to celebrate his reintroduction to polite society. The Prize was a gold-plated trophy cup nearly a foot tall, topped by a silver-and-gold globe. A small clockwork man leaned against one of the handles, reaching up to touch the globe. As there was a significant monetary prize attached to the award, many feel that this award was created at least partly as a bribe to the Farthingside Brotherhood of Explorers. The minutes of the July 1699 Brotherhood meeting reveal the impact the announcement had: :''- Other Business'' :''- New arrival Harkan Sildnid announces an award "to be given to prime movers of our noble calling, in prime years of our noble calendar." Award comes attendant with showy golden trophy and "a diamond scaled to your accomplishments." Brief chaos, shouting, following this declaration, as Sildnid displays a fist-sized diamond. Order only restored when realization is made that the next prime-numbered year is a full decade away.'' Syldanade's intended name for the prize was the Syldanada, but the name which stuck was the Bellwether's Cape Prize, the discovery of which led to Syldanade awarding the prize to himself in 1699. Over the years, it came to be more derisively known as the Blatherskite Prize by fellow explorers who felt that Syldanade was overlooking their own accomplishments in favor of rewarding himself time after time. The winner of the Bellwether's Cape Prize was officially announced nine times; each time, the winner was Harrican Syldanade. The Judging Process The prize was intended to be awarded by a panel of judges consisting of four representatives from the Brotherhood, who would each have one vote, and all of the past recipients of the prize, who would have one vote apiece. However, when the committee first met in 1709, they discovered that Syldanade had awarded himself the prize retroactively for every prime year since his birth, giving him a total of six votes. The rules required there to be a judging committee, but it quickly became a mark of shame to be drafted for this rubber-stamp duty. Members who were delinquent in their dues or had returned empty-handed from recent explorations could expect to be honored with a seat on the Bellwether's Cape committee. The Retroactive Awards By the very nature of these awards, Syldanade was unable to give an acceptance speech before the Brotherhood. All that is known about the reason for these awards is the few lines stamped on the plaque at the base of each. 1663: "Discovered a blinding world totally unlike my own, reached through a narrow tunnel. Charmed the inhabitants." 1667: "Dug hole to undiscovered country beneath sand. Established barter system, brought back valuable juice boxes." 1669: "Found, cowed and eliminated inhabitants of nightmare country beneath bed." 1693: "Located the Golden Fleece and tapped its power for the betterment of mankind." 1697: "Found and destroyed a potent scourge preparing to wipe humanity out of the galaxy. No thanks necessary." Though many claim that these awards are wholly specious, careful study of Syldanade's life provides corroborating evidence of a sort for some. For example, 1697 was the year that Syldanade's Apelagic Generator was first deployed, and there is little doubt that Syldanade did kill nearly everything on Helldesert Ebba. If there was indeed a scourge there, it has assuredly been destroyed. The Committee Awards Syldanade personally accepted the first eight of these awards from himself at the Brotherhood's regular meetings. His self-congratulatory speeches provided far more information about the reason for each of these awards, if not always more evidence of either why he deserved the prize, or the reality of his claims. 1699: "Discovered the Bellwether's Cape, first known instance of anthropometamorphic rock." :Located off the south coast of the Nendi continent on Eridan 3, the Bellwether's Cape is a surprisingly hospitable piece of land jutting into the ocean. When Syldanade's expedition sailed through these waters, they discovered that the bits of rock would break off of the coast and drift in front of their ship, leading them away from shoals and through safe waters. The question of whether Bellwether's Cape qualified as an intelligence was still being debated at the time that the final pieces were mined and sold as novelty quivering pet rocks. 1709: "Revealed to the world an entirely new shade of purple." :Often called the Metabell, Syldanade claimed to have discovered this remarkable new color in the face of his long-time rival, Malinveer Ashmanning. For evidence, he directed the Brotherhood's attention to Malinveer, currently in attendance. Syldanade suggested that the new color be called "sylmaroon," whereupon Ashmanning charged the podium and attempted to beat him to death with the trophy. 1721: "Dredged the Assiduous Sea for a cheap, renewable supply of tricesian crystals, to benefit humanity." :Though several of the more philanthropic phrases in this are somewhat suspect, the influx of semi-organic tricesian crystals proved extremely beneficial to the galaxy, and to Levi VI until its unpleasant implosion the following year. 1723: "Proved once and for all that opposites attract." :This award led to Syldanade's eight-year expulsion from the Farthingside Brotherhood of Explorers, due to a total lack of evidence supporting the existence of the Anti-Tribes of Khest. It was not until he returned in 1731 with living specimens that Syldanade was allowed back in. A deep line has been gouged into the plaque on this trophy, underscoring the phrase "once and for all." 1733: "Found the final digit of pi. It's 6." :Only the Brotherhood's reluctance to be proved wrong again so soon prevented them from expelling Syldanade for a second time. His defense, as recorded in the minutes, was an uncharacteristically terse "Check my work." 1741: "Beat Death in a game of skill." :This was the first year that it appeared possible that the Bellwether's Cape Prize would be awarded to someone other than Syldanade, as he was near death at the time of judging. The committee was reportedly in excellent spirits until he arrived in a mechanized hospital bed, cast his ten votes for himself, and held up a print-out of his flat-lined heart monitor as proof. 1747: "Flummoxed the wild-haired Sphinx of Nareth." :Nareth first became accessible to traders and settlers in 1746. Previously, all ships had been hailed in an unrecognized language, then fired upon. Syldanade claimed that, when translated, the hailing message was, "What has four wheels and flies?" 1753: "Discovered the first evidence of true artificial intelligence." :To support this claim, Syldanade brought the Brotherhood a sealed brass box with a keyboard on one face and a small slot on the opposing one. Questions could be typed in, and the device would answer by spitting out a strip of paper with a response. It also attempted to initiate conversations whether anyone was present or not, resulting in a lengthy coil of paper with messages such as, "Hey! Anyone there? Talk to me if you can read this. Hello?" 1759: "Roundly defeated the Lernathi, winning trade rights to their world for all humans." :Syldanade did not show up in person to receive this prize, nor indeed to vote in the committee. He had sent instructions in 1757 that the bronze box was to represent him and cast votes on his behalf in all future committee meetings. The box produced this claim with no supporting evidence of its truth, or even of Syldanade's continuing vitality, and cast all of Syldanade's votes for it. The trophy was added to the Brotherhood's display case, pending Syldanage's return. This was the last physical trophy made for the Bellwether's Cape Prize. The committee continued to convene in every prime-numbered year until the Brotherhood's dissolution, but as the bronze box continued to make outlandish claims and cast votes for Syldanade, it became nothing but a ceremonial duty. Current Awards The bronze box was lost after the Brotherhood dissolved, but is presumably still casting its votes. Assuming nothing has changed, Syldanade has now been awarded the Bellwether's Cape Prize 44 times, with next year being the 45th.